dancing in the still point on the spiral journey of life

Big Questions

We’re all starting to realize, this space, this internet space?

It’s real! You’re real. I’m a real fucking person. 

This is the real world. And we need to be real people in it.

~ Tracey Anne Duncan, Strategic Storytelling

 

“Who am I? Why am I here? What am I going to do?” are the questions implied in Jimmy Cliff’s classic reggae song, Many Rivers to Cross. That song was the inspiration for my first blog. When I started writing it, I used the pseudonym mountain mama because I was afraid to be me online.

 

In November 2008, I wrote about change here. The ideas I had then didn’t change but I did. Three years later, I mustered up some courage and dove into the online coaching world using my first name. I had a lot of enthusiasm and zero business knowledge.

 

I wrote in Loran’s Heart: What you know about me is what I’m willing to share.  What I know about you is what you tell me. If I can’t see your face or hear your voice then, by default, I depend on your words. 

 

Eventually, I started sharing a lot. I wrote content for pdfs and e-courses I wanted to sell. I wrote newsletters and guest blogs. In the end, I gave up trying to compete in the coaching world. It’s a noisy place, filled with smoke and mirrors, and competition is fierce. Rascals, crooks and cheaters are everywhere. There are also creative, kind coaches I enjoy hanging out with online. I love learning new ideas from them.

 

Now, I write about core ideas that define the real me and questions I ponder. Over the last nine years, it’s gotten easier to reveal the onion layers of my self. The writing, oh the writing, is another story. I aim to be real, interesting and inventive. I’m learning to craft what I write, to evaluate what I want to say and how. It’s encouraging to read some older pieces and think, “Yeah, that was pretty good,” until I want to go back and edit it all.

 

It’s been less than a month since I changed up this site and announced I’m writing a book. Some days it’s overwhelming, some days the writing flows. I write in circles and end up in corners. I write to understand the world, all the while wondering if anyone else cares or if it matters.

 

Everything I know about life has been learned through hard times and misfortunes. What I don’t know just might fill a book of questions. Stay tuned.

 

4 Comments

  1. Gaelyn on May 26, 2017 at 6:48 pm

    You write, learn, and grow for yourself. Yet sharing with others is good for us and you. Keep it up. I am real too.
    Gaelyn recently posted..Facilitated dialogue trainingMy Profile

  2. Loran Hills on May 26, 2017 at 11:18 pm

    Thanks, Gaelyn! I know you’re real and I’m happy for it. It’s been wonderful to watch you learn and grow, too.

  3. Monica B. on June 5, 2017 at 2:33 am

    The questions “Who am I? Why am I hear? What am I going to do?” have eluded me for much too long. I’m in what feels like the eleventh hour of many years past and still without answers. Much of what I’ve learned has come from risks taken to speak up. And a risk it has been. I too, have witnessed the smoke and mirrors and wandered away from the crowd. I’ve declared I’m walking the path of heart. This liminal space I’m in is less crowded except for my own foot traffic of thoughts, and asking again and again those questions praying for the long awaited answers. I’m staying tuned!

    • Loran Hills on June 5, 2017 at 8:57 am

      Monica, I’m not sure that these deep questions are ever sufficiently answered if we have curious minds and hearts. I’m happy to walk the path of heart with you! I enjoy traveling with others in liminal spaces.

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