dancing in the still point on the spiral journey of life

What is the heart of the matter?

 

 

The knowledge of the past stays with us. 

To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and the fears,

the clingings and the disappointments of the past that bind our spirits.  ~Jack Kornfield

 

You are the center from which your life flows

in ever changing cycles.

 

Where is your center?

 

Are you holding on to misery?  Tightly grasping, rigidly clinging?  Desperately reaching for something to soothe the pain?

 

Perhaps it feels familiar and oddly comfortable.  You know this drill. Continue the pattern and what do you get?

 

Constriction.  Depression.  Anxiety.  Despair.   You tell yourself, “It’s always been this way.  I’ve always been this way.  It’s no use trying to change.”

 

Do you believe in change?  Whether you do or not, change is inevitable.  Nothing lasts.

 

Does this thought cause you fear?  Do you try to cling even harder?  What happens when you squeeze tighter?

 

You can’t breathe.  You can’t think.  You cry or yell or scream.

 

What happens when you let go and loosen your grip?  Is there space to breathe?  Is there a feeling of opennes?

 

Can you stand on the edge of a cliff and leap? Do you look down?  Can you fly?

 

What happens when there is no depression?  No anxiety?  No despair?

 

It feels really weird at first.  Is that bad?  Does it feel terrible?  Or, maybe, it’s a little bit exciting?  Or exhilarating?

 

Can you feel something stirring or shifting?  In the spring there is a new, raw energy that creates life.

 

Are you afraid of the flower bud that opens up in full bloom?  Of course not!

 

What is there to fear?  To lose bitterness, resentment, or anger is to allow love, forgiveness, joy, grace and healing light to enter the wounded places.

 

My center is a lodestar.  My guiding star is the calling to rouse, awaken, inspire, and incite others to action.

 

The heart of the matter is that I am compelled, driven to continue diving below the surface and to keep soaring into the sky.

 

I look at all angles.  I allow myself to feel.

 

I was not allowed to feel for a long time.  Then I numbed the feelings.  I am not numb now.

 

Feelings make me vulnerable and that creates fear but it’s better than anger or mean behavior.

 

I seesaw up and down, happy, sad, joyful, depressed, gleeful, raging.

 

Where is the center?  It’s in me.  I am the fulcrum of change.

 

I’m restoring the power within that grows, that lights the way, that provides solace in tough times.

 

Embody the sacred. 

 

Stand on the ground and look up.  Connect to the earth and the sky.  Let love drench you like a warm, soft, cleansing rain.

 

You’ll be glad you did.

 

 

6 Comments

  1. Tammy Vitale on August 9, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    “Embody the sacred.” Awesome message!

    • Loran Hills on August 9, 2013 at 2:26 pm

      If you embody the sacred, then letting go isn’t so difficult.

  2. Ginger (Gin) on August 9, 2013 at 8:16 pm

    This is beautiful, Loran… thank you.
    Ginger (Gin) recently posted..self-care and balance…My Profile

    • Loran Hills on August 9, 2013 at 10:17 pm

      My pleasure, Gin.

  3. Suerae Stein on August 10, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    Wonderful post – so warm and meaningful!
    Suerae Stein recently posted..Silly SignsMy Profile

    • Loran Hills on August 10, 2013 at 7:56 pm

      Thanks, Suerae! I’m glad you appreciated the post.

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